The past 3 weeks God has challenged me to see life differently. With the challenge there has been tears of happiness, laughter, physical pain, discouragement and realization. For 16+ years of my life, I physically destroyed the body Christ created. I would sneak food and hide it in my room only to eat it later. I turned for seconds when I was fully satisfied and hid from family and friends, all of which I did to myself. I was a food addict. I hid from the pain of my parents divorce, the loss of our family home due to a fire and the death of my stepfather. I turned to food to hide the hurt that I could not control. Today, so many years later, I now see the magnitude of my idolization of food, gluttony (food worship) and sin.
I see it in the struggle I once had with an eating disorder just because I wanted to be “thin” or when I look in the mirror and still see a 240-pound girl. I see it in the daily pain and inability to walk straight or comfortably due to the lengthy incisions since skin removal surgery. I am currently bed and couch bound for most of the day because I have no energy and the thought of dropping something on the floor makes me cringe.
Thankfully, everyday I continue to heal and feel better, but my body will forever have scars and proof of sin from hip to hip and from the top of my inner thighs to my knees. I accept that my body will never be perfect or meet my expectations. You and I will never have what the world sees as “perfect” bodies even if we try. Though what excites me is that when we step into heaven, none of this will matter, none of it, because our bodies will be renewed!
Our earthly bodies are transformed into conformity with Christ’s body in the resurrection, not that God creates a new body from scratch, rather “For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ; who will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the body of His glory, by the exertion of the power that He has even to subject all things to Himself.” Philippians 3:20–21
“Paul says in 1 Corinthians 42-44, that our current bodies are weak, perishable, unglorified, and natural. But in the resurrection state they will be powerful, imperishable, glorious, and spiritual. Our bodies will be powerful–they will not be subject to stress or fatigue or weakness. Our bodies will be imperishable–they will not get sick, die, age, or become injured. Our bodies will be spiritual–they will be fully oriented to and filled with the Holy Spirit. And our bodies will be glorious.” –John Piper
We live in a world where everywhere we turn there are ads, labels or commercials that draw us toward foods and beverages that do not honor our bodies. Foods that are loaded with harmful and unnatural chemicals and ingredients, I believe to be created by man’s desire for money and pleasure. Rather, food as mentioned in Mark 7:19 is to be “clean” and should be received in thanksgiving. Food is not evil; but too often we consume food for our pleasure and we fail to bring praise to the one who created it. As humans we indulge our excessive cravings for food because we feel powerless to do anything else. The good news is that not only has Christ cleansed us from the stain of gluttony, he has also freed us from its power.
Praise God, for by His grace, I lost 105 pounds; no surgery or nutrition gimmicks. I kept the weight off, will soon have my license to officially practice as a registered dietitian and I am no longer diabetic. Most importantly, I have found my identity in Christ and am no longer held captive by food. Through freedom only found in Christ, I know that I do not have to run to food or things of this world to satisfy me. Do I struggle, yes, but my strength comes from the Lord. Through this, I hope that if you too are struggling with gluttony, an eating disorder, body image or sin that you know that Christ has set you free and through Him you will find it all!!