I have dreamt of this post for years.
Prayed often and wiped many tears. Since I can remember, I have been a prisoner in my own body. Ashamed to be around others, fearing they would see the flaws that covered my entire body. Flaws that were visible when as a young girl, at 240 pounds, I couldn’t fit into the desks at school; in the summer I would wear sweatshirts and jeans and was pre-diabetic on Metformin. Food was my best friend.
Due to a life changing relationship in college, my weight began to shed away. Quickly 100 pounds were gone; 100 pounds in one year. Loosing weight was and has not been the cure all to my happiness, yet I thought it would. I imagined I would wear a 2-piece bathing suit; I could run in shorts and would look down and see “perfection”. They never tell you that when you loose a significant amount of weight, one of many things remain: excess skin. Skin that reminds me of every extra slice of pizza I ate and for all the years I was eating myself to death. Though my battle scars, they are scars that affect everything I do. I feel trapped in a body that I worked so hard to obtain.
Yet, I am reminded today of the perfection of the Lord’s timing and how he provides for those who are patient.
In the practice of patience, we feel the burn of sanctification and the inward groans of the Spirit (Romans 8:23).
I waited; I waited in Faith. For Faith feeds hope, and when “we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience”.
My body is not my own, but it is perfect in Christ’s image. My body is a gift from God. He loans it to me and it’s my responsibility to manage it well. “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit … ?” (19). My body is God’s temple. I was bought at a price. 1 Corinthians 6:12-20 (NIV).
Over the past 4 years, I have had countless consultations with Dr. Dennis Hurwitz, a world-renowned plastic surgeon in Pittsburgh with the hope of having an abdomnioplasty and upper thigh lift. With a $10,500 price tag and as a full time student, this amount appeared out of my reach. Thus why 4 years later, I attempted one more time. One more consult and another battle with the insurance company to try to prove why this procedure was a medical necessity. Yet-they didn’t agree, just as they did the first time. Finally, a phone conversation that gave hope to keep fighting, a simple question with so much riding on it. Can the price be lowered? Another consult later. By the power of God, the surgeon handed me a paper. Price cut in half.
With personal savings and the generosity of friends and family; I am so excited to announce….ITS HAPPENING!!
In one short month on July 18th and July 22nd I will be having the surgery I have prayed and hoped for. Though surgery will take 2 surgeries, on 2 different dates, I look forward to the day where I can run in shorts, wear a dress without compression garments and simply feel like a 23 year old women who worked so hard to get to where I am today. It will be painful, I won’t be able to walk standing straight for at least 2-3 weeks, I won’t be able to run for 6 weeks and will be reliant on others-but I know it will be worth it!
Thank you everyone for your prayers, support and constant reminder of Christ’s love for me; I am so grateful. I am so ready and thrilled for this chapter of my journey to be over. Please pray that the surgery goes without complication and that I heal quickly and correctly. I am more excited than ever!